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18 January 2006 @ 02:36 pm
Cold, Cold Water by 0creativity, PG  
Title: Cold, Cold Water
Author: 0creativity
Fandom and Pairing: CSI, Nick/Greg
Rating: PG
Claim & Prompt: "laconic", post-ep
Warnings: Spoilers for 3x22, "Play with Fire"
Notes: Inspired by the song "Cold, Cold Water" by Damien Rice. Apparently his is the only music that can inspire me.
Summary: Just the usual "Play with Fire" post-ep stuff. I don't really think there's anything special or groundbreaking here, but I had a little free time and decided I should probably really write something for this challenge (finally). And, yeah, it will probably be obvious after reading this that I haven't written for the boys in quite a while, heh.


Cold, cold water surrounds him now, which is ironic because he’s actually on fire. He must be on fire because even though he’s laying on the floor on his stomach and he can only raise his head a few inches, he can see bright orange flames and broken glass and thick clouds of smoke. He can hear the fire alarms and people yelling and he watches as dozens of feet run past him. Vaguely, he wonders why no one’s stopping to make sure he’s okay.

He lays there for several more minutes, although it seems much longer to him, until a second, much smaller explosion rocks the lab. A pile of papers that had been neatly stacked on top of one of the tables in the lab goes flying and he groans. Now, on top of all this, he’s going to have to redo all that paperwork. Small pieces of white paper, their edges tinged with black, and some still on fire, drift lazily through the air. It’s an eerily beautiful sight until one of the pieces still on fire lands inches from his head.

It’s getting dark and blurry and nearly impossible to focus on anything in particular. He’s really tired, he decides, so he lays his head down on the floor and a piece of glass digs its way into his cheek. He doesn’t really care, though, because he’s surrounded by cold, cold water and it feels so, so good.

~

The scene that greets him on his awakening isn’t much different than the one he’s just left. It’s blurry and it’s dark and there’s a lot of orange and red and he panics because he thinks he’s still there on the floor of the lab, waiting for someone to rescue him. A strong hand grabs his and squeezes tightly, a reassuring voice tells him to calm down, tells him he’s okay.

He blinks a few times and the scene in front of him slowly begins to swim into focus. He’s in a small room and most of the lights are turned off but just enough are still on to illuminate a corner by the door. Brightly colored balloons and flowers cover a small table in the corner and he realizes that they must have been what he mistook for flame.

His back hurts like a son of a bitch and he guesses that’s probably why they have him laying on his side. He moves his head enough so he can get a glance of the stranger holding his hand. Only, it’s not a stranger. It’s Nick. Nick, who looks like he hasn’t slept in days, is standing there, a concerned look on his face. Greg looks down at their hands and back up at Nick, who blushes and mutters something about not wanting to grab Greg’s shoulders and not knowing where it was safe to touch him.

Greg just nods dumbly as Nick lets his hand go. He feels cold, suddenly, which is good because his back still feels as if it’s on fire. His brain is getting foggy and he can’t find the strength to concentrate on whatever it is Nick’s saying. Of course, it doesn’t help that Nick is speaking so delicately, so softly, as if just his voice will break Greg. He closes his eyes as Nick continues to ramble, and part of him says that it’s important, what Nick’s saying, that maybe he should listen, but the feeling of cold spreads and he feels as if he’s surrounded by cold, cold water... feels as if he’s drowning...

~

It figures that the only time he’d ever have one of those cool flying dreams where you can soar through the air like a bird and go wherever you want to, where you can be completely and absolutely free, it would morph into a nightmare where he’s soaring through Hell, where bright orange flames lick at his face and he ends up crashing hard into the ground.

He wakes up suddenly, and before he even realizes what he’s doing, he’s sitting straight up. Not even the intense pain of the burns on his back being stretched, not even this pain beyond imagination can cause his voice to work, however. His mouth is open and his face is contorted into a look of absolute terror and he’s trying with all his might to yell for help, but he hasn’t talked in days and he can’t even remember the last time he had a drink.

Nick walks into the room with a cup of coffee and unceremoniously throws it on the table as he rushes over to Greg’s bed. He takes his hand again, squeezes tight, tells him he’s okay, tells him he’s safe. He sits in the uncomfortable wooden chair that came with the room, the one he moved next to Greg’s bed after the first nightmare, and he continues to whisper reassurances until Greg’s breathing returns to a somewhat normal pace. And even after, Nick will continue to talk, will speak with the hushed urgency of someone who doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s saying, not even the person to whom he’s speaking.

And Greg is drowning again, falling into the endless cold, cold water. Nick starts to let go of Greg’s hand, but Greg squeezes it and refuses to let Nick let go. The cold envelopes him, and he knows the feeling all too well, knows what’s coming next. He succumbs to it, just lets it take him, because at least he’ll get a few hours respite from the unbearable pain before the next nightmare awakens him.

He lets the water surround him with only a hand to hold on to.

~

He’s been asleep for hours, for days, really, and even though the doctors keep saying he’ll be okay, Nick still worries. He keeps his bedside vigil, relishes the feel of Greg’s hand in his. So much to say, so much he wants to say, so much he needs to say. So much he knows he’ll never have the courage to say.

“Greg, can you hear me now?”

No response.

What’s left to say? He’s told him everything over the past few days, spilled his soul to someone who will never remember, has said everything there is to say, except, maybe, the most important thing. He takes a deep breath and wills his hands to stop shaking, lest it wake up Greg. He stares at his feet until it all finally comes out in a rush of words that even he’s not sure make sense.

“Don’t you know I love you and always have?”

No response.
Tags: ,
 
 
Current Music: Damien Rice - Cold Cold Water
 
 
 
fred_bear: PWF shockfred_bear on January 18th, 2006 09:48 pm (UTC)
Oh Matt, this is lovely, in the 'oh it hurts' kind of way.
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 18th, 2006 10:52 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks. I tell ya, you guys are such suckers for angst. ;-) I'm glad you liked it.
fred_bear: tough as nailsfred_bear on January 19th, 2006 02:30 am (UTC)
I need a t-shirt that says "Angst-Whore". :)
catlover2xcatlover2x on January 18th, 2006 09:50 pm (UTC)
Oh this is lovely in a beautifulhurty way. Thank you.
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 18th, 2006 10:52 pm (UTC)
You're more than welcome. Thank you for the comment. :-)
ohmygah_x on January 18th, 2006 10:00 pm (UTC)
That was completely gorgeous. Very sad, yet so beautiful. Good job, dear!
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 18th, 2006 10:53 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.
wojo62 on January 18th, 2006 10:06 pm (UTC)
this is very well written.Poor Greg, you can almost feel his pain & Nick is so sweet & tender trying to tell him his feelings.
I hope you continue this.
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 18th, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I just have to say that your icon cracks me up.

As for continuing it... I don't know yet. Right now it feels like it's finished to me, but who knows... some of the most insane ideas come up at the most random of times!
New Art. Cold Fish.: iconwaltzgrapefruit_tea on January 19th, 2006 12:49 am (UTC)
Great great story. One of my favourite post-Play with Fire ones that I've read. It's a great song too, gotta love that Damien Rice. I really liked how you incorporated the lyrics in here. It worked out nicely. Keep it up!
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 19th, 2006 05:58 am (UTC)
Thank you very much :)
Madam X: Evidence_slytherin_girl on January 19th, 2006 12:55 am (UTC)
Oh I really liked that. All angst is good angst when it's written well... did that make sense? *shakes head* Anyhoo, I just loved this. The description was great.
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 19th, 2006 05:59 am (UTC)
Yes, it made perfect sense. Thank you for the comment.
Frankie_Gsaebuffyboy on January 19th, 2006 01:43 am (UTC)
ok, and again, this is why i love you. well, this and your ability to say you know what about you know who. but your fic is soo well done. i love the idea that nick is there, cause it's just something we never got to see in show, and i'm rambleing and not making much sence but you know what i mean.
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 19th, 2006 06:00 am (UTC)
Ha. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.
{AtB}: Nick and Greg from CSIabouttheboys on January 19th, 2006 03:31 am (UTC)
This was awesome. Every time I read something dealing with the lyrics the song would start playing in my head. I love Damien Rice.

This hurt so much...especially the part about the flying dream...but it's okay 'cause it's really well written.
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 19th, 2006 06:00 am (UTC)
Damien Rice has taken over my brain the past couple of days, but I'm definitely not complaining. Thank you for the comment and I'm glad you liked it.
onigaminanashionigaminanashi on January 19th, 2006 06:42 am (UTC)
Wow. I think I'll have to schlump over to iTunes and see if I can find Damien Rice.

Talk about a stab to the heart. But a good stab to the heart. It flowed and twisted and damn, that was good angst.

What’s left to say? He’s told him everything over the past few days, spilled his soul to someone who will never remember, has said everything there is to say, except, maybe, the most important thing. He takes a deep breath and wills his hands to stop shaking, lest it wake up Greg. He stares at his feet until it all finally comes out in a rush of words that even he’s not sure make sense.

“Don’t you know I love you and always have?”

No response.


Again, wow. As much as I love happily ever after, this is what everything is more often than not... I'm gonna go cry in a corner now...

^_^
on and on and on0creativity on January 19th, 2006 06:32 pm (UTC)
A good stab to the heart? Is that even possible? ;-) Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it, though. Thanks for leaving a comment.
Silvia: GregHandssillie82 on January 19th, 2006 03:26 pm (UTC)
God, that hurt... but in a good way. Thanks, this was wonderful. :3
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 19th, 2006 06:32 pm (UTC)
You are welcome, and thank you for leaving a comment.
Deafened by the silence: Greggoanmani on January 19th, 2006 04:43 pm (UTC)
You sure know how to describe pain in a very luring way, making it beautiful in its own twisted way.

Nice to see that you are writing again:-)
/A
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 19th, 2006 06:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you. It's good to be writing again.
Tinaserenity151979 on January 19th, 2006 06:37 pm (UTC)
Oooh, deliciously painful. This was a real treat for my angst-whorish tendancies, and it's so good to have you writing again because you're wonderful.
on and on and on: covering ears0creativity on January 19th, 2006 06:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you and thank you. I'm glad it met the angst whore seal of approval ;-)
_Crash_fabiale on January 21st, 2006 07:33 am (UTC)
I always thought anguish and fear give the most beautiful "pictures" when described... but it's not a job for all! You did it just awesome, I loved it : )

"And Greg is drowning again, falling into the endless cold, cold water. Nick starts to let go of Greg’s hand, but Greg squeezes it and refuses to let Nick let go. The cold envelopes him, and he knows the feeling all too well, knows what’s coming next. He succumbs to it, just lets it take him, because at least he’ll get a few hours respite from the unbearable pain before the next nightmare awakens him."
These are the lines that really gave emotion.. brrr... wonderful
on and on and on0creativity on January 21st, 2006 07:43 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the comments. I'm happy that you liked this.
_Crash_fabiale on January 21st, 2006 07:49 am (UTC)
Thank YOU for writing and sharing : )
Shacky Supernaturalshacky20 on January 27th, 2006 04:08 am (UTC)
Matt, WOW you've got quite the following now, I hope now that the site transfer has eased up and things are going somewhat smoother now ( you knwo I love you for your "GO To Hell" rant cause I don't think could have done that, that you'll have more time to write, cause isn't that why we did this to begin with? I think you are sowonderful and special, especially to this fandom, adn consider myself the luckiest person ever that I found you for the webmaster four "OUR" site, yes our site, cause without you, it would't have happened, so great writing, I do enjoyed it.